Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up and you know that the day to come will be a complete waste of time and ultimately uninspiring. Is it possible in that hazy fringe between lazy sleepiness and consciousness, to instantly make a decision of how the day is going to pan out, and like a self proclaiming prophecy there it is laid out for you, a map of the day saying you will go to exactly nowhere.
That is perhaps how my day started out and continued forth in a similar manner, involving trying and unsuccessfully beseiging the day, only to fall asleep with the beating sun rays on my back in a park, to be attacked by insects and wake up with an enormously pounding headache.
Continuing to sludge through the day, I found myself online, talking to similarly mind numblingly trance like individuals to ease the boredom, only to find more.
Is it possible that this Frankenstein trance was due to my poor state of mind of not being able to concentrate on or move forward with my life when something minutely occupying occurs. Or more specifically, when my boyfriend pays me less attention then I feel he oughts then suddenly the whole world comes to a crashing halt, everything seems absolutely dire and the sky should be thundering bolts rather than sending golden rays.
Why is it that as soon as the balance of perfect between me and my other half is only slightly disturbed, I stop, falter and freeze. What is even more frustrating is the knowledge that my boyfriend is happily going about his business within his own hassle free bubble in which he does not which me to occupy or even come within a close proximity to at this moment.
The question that I have been asking myself on many occasion is, am I normal? Is it normal to be completely obsessing over the minutest detail of an upsetting conversation that we had 24 hours ago, or is this a very normal and average female physiological response? Or am I perhaps what I have always feared that I am 100% crazy?
